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My dog got excited when I got home from work and ran around me while peeing
"i’m 10% german, 14% danish, 15% norwegian, 7% …"
This is modern art
i can’t breathe
could you please fill out this quick survey for me?
this is my favourite picture on the internet
i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search
i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement
So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.
they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change
Oh, they were.
Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous
Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo
The only nail polish for me